Simon - Call Home ASAP Mom and Dad

Here is a picture of the note that I discovered beneath one of my windshield wipers on my Dodge Daytona back in 2002. As this previous post stated, My family and I were walking home from a street carnival (this just a few nights after the dream and actuality of my antenna being missing from the same car, along with all the other psychic phenomenon occurring at that time) and discovered it.

We lived just about 5-6 blocks from the downtown carnival so we walked to and fro. My car was obviously in our own parking lot (shared with other tenants of the building). I suppose, because there was a fair of sorts, our parking area could have been shared by other fair-goers, and perhaps somebody was just confused as to what their child drove.

Because of all the deja vu and other psychic events going on in my life at the time, I just don't believe it was coincidence.

Could "Simon" be me, as PKD was "Thomas". One of our many secret codes?

Contact me here next year. If I'm not here, site will not be updated and well, you know the rest.

I'm copying what I wrote down yesterday morning from a dream I had on Thursday, July 3 sometime between 0711 and 0930.

Not sure what to make of this.

I went to a physician in some ER and he (mild/moderate build, slight tan, wavy brown hair) said I had some kind of internal organ disease. He said I only had a few days to a few weeks to live. He said my heart would just stop (after I had asked him how it would happen) (reminds me of the situation when we had to euthanise our cat, Sophie).

Then I remembered being at some kind of cook out (picnic or BQ) with a number of relatives and a few of went inside a house and began looking at a TV screen that showed sections of my brain (we could use a controller to navigate around the sections. Then my 2nd cousin (can't remember which of 2 cousins it was) said they had experience looking at this, so he took the controller.

While we were doing this, I began to think about my supposed arranged fate (living to 63, writing, etc.) and thought that this couldn't be right. So, I starting thinking about the ER physician and his "diagnosis". He didn't order any X-rays, scans, MRI's, etc. to support his diagnosis.

We went to see him at the hospital and he says it's possible that it could be incorrect. He also said that I should have had the scans done before I went to the ER.


*** I believe I had this dream because I've less than 2 months unemployment insurance remaining. So, I have had almost 4 months of time when I could and should have been writing every single day. But, I falter. I procrastinate, trying to put off the inevitable. Makes one wonder whether I really want to write, after all. I've thought about this often. The answer is I definitely do. Not only that, but I believe that is possible that I am supposed to physically die when I am 63. I am now 34, and if I am supposed to create this corpus of work then I really need to get with the plan. See, PKD was born on 1928 and died in 1982. In keeping with the tradition I have come to the conclusion that I, too, will die in 2037, while I lived was born in 1973. So, if I am published at least this year or next, I believe I stay on the train for a while longer, although my book will be closed on 2037. And if I don't begin soon, if I don't do what it is that I am supposed to do, then perhaps my time in this realm is near over. It's not that I'm afraid to die, it's that 1) I love my daughter and want to be with her, to see her grow and have a beautiful life and 2) I still do really believe that there is something that I am supposed to do, and a large part of that is writing.

I Can Feel It!

Change is in the Air!

My daughter and I just finished watching an episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender. While trudging to the kitchen to put up some dishes and do some general cleaning, I turned on the tele to CNN Headline News. Seeing that it was Nancy Grace, Again, I switched to the main CNN channel with Anderson Cooper. Before me, I heard a great statesman's voice, that of Senator Barack Obama, speaking of his win over Senator Hillary Clinton for the Democratic Nomination.

I was fixed to the tube, and to Senator Obama's words. I usually try not to blog politics, but I am genuinely excited. Senator Obama talks of a United America, an America of "We Cans". Past the serious faces of the Secret Service, I could see genuinely excited Americans. Americans who when looked at Senator Obama, looked upon him with Admiration and Respect. Even though I'm more than 1000 miles away from St. Paul, Minnissota, I feel like I was amongst those in the crowd.

A very memorable, heart-felt, honest speech.

I could go on and on about his speech, but there other blogs and news sites for that.

Here's to Change, and WE CAN!

Isolated Tribes

I first learned of the news concerning the "uncontacted" tribe in the Amazonian Rainforest from Wired. Some of the articles and news releases are somewhat misleading, making it seem as if this was the very first time that anyone has ever seen this tribe. According to a Wikipedia article, it should be termed as "isolated", with which I agree. These photos, however, are a very important reminder that there are others on our Earth that are more primitive in every aspect of their lives, and that have no need or desire to be included. There is much controversy as to whether or not civilized society should intervene in their affairs.

Perhaps the peoples with the least contact are the Sentinelese islanders of the Indian ocean.
Survival International is an organization devoted to protecting tribal peoples' rights. Their website is worth some attention.

Whats this Life for?

Whats this Life for?

When the Universe summons you
tells you that there is an important
task at hand, and through the senses
it can be verified, and through the being
feelings, are edified.

Again, Why?

Cast out
out of humanity, I was
making a new name and life
one where no one could find me
those that are searching
I am Lost
there is nowhere to look

May the Universe find you
and keep you

A Scanner Darkly; Made of Membots

One of my so-called anamnestic memories that I became aware of in 2002-2003 was of an instance when I (or PKD) was walking along a sidewalk fronting some kind of shopping plaza or district. I was walking alongside a medium built, butterscotch haired, slender faced gentleman and discussing, of all things, PKD's A Scanner Darkly. Near the site there was a park and three people sitting on a picnic table.

Did I mention that I think it possible that our own US government or some other organization implanted those types of "anamnestic" memories in me, possible to make me think that somehow I am relevant to the PKD phenomenon? I have a few other guesses as to what is going on, including: Well, we'll just have to wait on that won't we? I will say this, however; If it were say 2037 or so, I think it possible that I've been injected with "membots" that were once a part of "you know who"; thus my affiliations with "you know who".

This is the subject of my first novel in the making. Now if I could stop procrastinating and just get on with the damned thing.

Extra-retinal Vision?

For about 3 weeks now I've been experiencing some kind of "extra-retinal" vision. It usually occurs just before waking up after an extended sleep. With my eyes closed I am able to see nearly perfect vision. It usually is nearly identical to when I open my eyes, however, that is not always the case. Usually, it is some scene in my bedroom. I remember being aware of it at the time, but it slowly evades me throughout the day. It's never (at least I don't recall) like I'm above my body looking down, but it's as if I am seeing as though my eyes were open. It's not like an after-image either. It's pure, unadulterated vision. And I'm certainly not above to think that these could be merely hypnopompic hallucinations.

There has been one exception to the content of the experience. Just yesterday morning, May 1, I recall seeing a book, open to reveal some text, but alas, that evades me as well.

It is interesting to note that about the same time this began ocurring, I downloading some of Dr. Jeffrey Thompson's brainwave "entrainment" using my Rhapsody acount. I'm not certain if that was it, or it was coincidental, but nevertheless, it has been interesting.

Quick Review of "Time to Write"

Kelly L. Stone's "Time to Write" (Adams Media 2008) features advice from over 100 professional writers, interwoven by her own commentary on finding time to write.

Introduced in chapter 2 and reiterated throughout the text she focuses on what she aptly calls the "Burning Desire to Write", which is something that writers just know they have to do, and as such, are deeply motivated and will find the time to write.

She also says paramount to writing success is devising a schedule and sticking to it no matter what. And in chapter 4, she sketches out seven types of schedules for different lifestyles, also pointing out the pros and cons of each.

The rest of the book gives tips and advice on planning, making goals, and overcoming resistance to writing. The appendices feature a character sheet, online resources, writers organizations and short biographies and web pages of all the interviewed writers.

I found that the book is abundant with helpful, practical and sound advice and definately worth the time.

Counter-Clock World

As the dawn of the 21st Century approaches in Philip K. Dick's "Counter-Clock World", the Earth enters what is known as the Hobart Phase. The beginning of this phase is marked by what essentially amounts to a reversal of Entropy. The buried Dead can be heard scratching at their enclosures and yelling for assistance. Cigarette butts are taken from ashtrays and smoked into full length sticks and then packaged. The Old get younger and copulation marks the end of a pregnancy. A greeting is announced by "Good-bye" and parting with "Hello". Books are eradicated at the Library instead of checked out.

Sebastian Hermes is the owner and manager of the "Flask of Hermes" Vitarium. There, he leads a motley crew consisting of a physician, a salesman, a techie and a priest. His business is that of assisting the "Reborn" and then negotiating a sale to any party interested.

As the rebirth of a prominent religious leader, Anarch Peak, is forthcoming, rivalry ensues amongst certain government factions, Hermes's Vitarium, the Uditi , and the Library. For whomever controls the Anarch, may very well control the world.

Nexi, the Robot

From KurzweilAI.net:

Meet Nexi, MIT's Media Lab's experimental emotive robot. She (at my own liberty) is truly impressive with expressive eyebrows, and various gestures correlating to all the human emotions. Neat!

Bagua Tattoo

I've finally took a low-rez picture of my Bagua Tattoo on my left deltoid (upper arm). I apologize for the long delay. Wikipedia has a decent article on the meaning behind the symbol. Surrounding the yin yang are eight trigrams, each with different meanings.

I realize that it is similar to the Dharma logo in the ABC series "Lost". I did watch Lost before I got the tattoo, however, it had in no way influenced my decision to obtain one.

Geeks and Nerds: A Guide

Wired.com has a really neat article with an image guide showcasing diffderent types of residents of geekdom. Neat!

IARPA

From Wired.com:

It seems our Intelligence community has finally caught up with TV. IARPA is a new agency that is similar to DARPA. Instead of Defense Advance Research Progects Agency, it is Intelligence Advance Research Progects Activity. Its function is to be to the Intelligence community what DARPA is to the Defense community.

It reminds me of the TV series "Alias" with Marshall Flinkman as the chief geek tech guy for first SD6 and then later the CIA.

Oh, by the way, it's pronounced "Yarpa".

Robert Sawyer's "Rollback"

The last book I read by Robert Sawyer dealt with the issue of near immortality by uploading a "copy" of the human mind to a mechanical body. This time around, he elects to tell us of another method of life extension, which he call's a "rollback", also the title of the book.

A rollback is an assortment of procedures that uses gene therapy, nano-robotic drones, cloning organs, and traditional surgery to essentially turn back the living clock that we are counting down to. The clock can be set back as early as the age of 25.

Although the process is extraordinarily expensive (not even multi-millionaire celebrities and sports icons can afford this luxury) Sarah and Don Halifax are given the procedure because a certain party thinks Sarah Halifax should be present for their ongoing commucations from an Alien species know as the Dracons, whose home is almost 19 light years away.

Although Sarah's husband, Don, isn't particularly needed for the Alien communications, Sarah wouldn't even consider the possibility unless her husband would be granted a rollback, as well.

When the rollback procedure is complete and the effects seen to be recognizable (a couple of months after the procedure is finished) Don, is reaping the benefits of youthfulness and vigor. However, Sarah's body had some interfering factors (a result of treatment for a previous cancer) that inhibited the success of the rollback.

Not the least resentful, Sarah is in a race to decode the latest message from the Dracons, before her weary body succumbs to the aging process, while Don struggles to adapt to his new found youth and vitality.

Sawyer succeeds in portraying how such a rollback affects the inquiry of immortality and the disadvantages and struggles it could assume, as well.

Contrasting the difference in physical age between Sarah and Don, he also shows us that true love and respect knows no such boundaries.

Human Hair Carved to reveal University Logo

From onsingularity.com:

This link from onsingularity.com led to a story on boing boing about researchers from the McMaster University in Hamilton, Onatario using a "focused ion beam microscope" (FIB) to strip away atoms from the surface of a strand of human hair.

Definately worth a look.

The FIB microscope will be used to fabricate nanoscale devices.

BIAM (Redux)

So, March is coming to an end and April is here. Hopefully, this will be my month; the month that I finally get that novel that's been brewing in my nether realm onto some kind of medium. At least a first draft.

As per an earlier post, I intend to start the Book in a Month plan. I've even posted a greeting on their message board. I didn't do that at the beginning of March, so maybe April is the month.

Philip Dick Quote on Zen Page a day Calendar

This a page from the Page A Day group of Calendars. This one comes from the Zen Page A Day. There are most certainly better quotes from that calendar I could post, but ... you know, with the PKD Connection, and all. It seems like its meant to be phrased in such black and white issue. However, we could also speak of not only physical reality, social reality, philosophical reality. And just what is consensal reality, anyway? Do we really know?

Successful Synopses

Joshua Palmatier, whom I know (not personally) from the Online Writers Workshop for Science fiction and Fantasy, just yesterday blogged about a new project he and another writer devised with links to fellow published authors and the plot synopsis they used to send to their agents/editors. It's called the "Plot Synopsis Project".

Joshua also explains his take on the synopsis process, both once the book is written and if the book has not been written.

Thanks Joshua, this should be a valuable tool for many of us.

You Want the BigDog on Your Side

Oh man, I'm either half asleep or buzzed on ambien and michelob, and yes, unfortoneately it's the latter one. I don't have a problem, because I'm running out of ambien, Shit!

Anyyyyy Way, I just found this On Singularity link in which they referenced a You Tube video provided by Boston Dynamics. It's a video that has just been released this month and it shows some testing conditions of the most advanced quadreped in the world. It's called the "BigDog".

And it can scale some of the most uneven terrain and handle and adjust like a pro.
Oh no, this reminds me of the Robocop movie. Gee, I hope they don't intend to give it weopens any time soon. Really Cool!

Uh oh! Another Plan

I've got a plan. What I'd like to do is to set a minimum amount of words to write a day. I know, innovative huh : )

I think 1500 minimum should be manageable. I will also allow myself to divide up the total, such as 500 hundred words each for fiction, writing exercises, prompts, blogging or journaling. That's just an example.

The idea is simply to get words saved in some format or other.

iGoogle & Gadgets

Oh no! I am in trouble now. I discovered Googles iGoogle mode about a week ago. I've just spent about 3 hours checking out different gadgets and setting up tabs based on my areas of interest.

Not only can you add gadgets, but you can make your own as well. I haven't read how to do it yet, but Google has its own resources on how to create them. That's next!

Near Future Phone

A few days ago I was guided by a site (which I have forgotten)to a website that displayed an animated demonstration of a Nokia phone that is in development (I think at the concept phase at this point).

I found another site last night with a link so although not the site I first saw it, I did find a post about it here. Within the post there is a link to Nokia's demonstration.

I've got only 3 words: Damn, that's Cool!

Book in a Month

I recently purchased another writing book. It is Book in a Month: The Fool-Proof System for Writing a Novel in 30 Days
by Victoria Lynn Schmidt. I have two other books by her, too. Story Structure Architect: A Writer's Guide to Building Dramatic Situations and Compelling Characters and 45 Master Characters. I've read about half of each, but like everything else I've got going, eventually gets stowed away for the new flavor, for a while.

Today,I'm beginning the Book in a Month challenge. It begins the first day of every month. There is also a companion website, and a yahoo group to join and proclaim your goals to everyone. Like that's supposed to work, for me?

Might as well try, since I'm not doing anything but sitting around the house, waiting, hoping that my unemployment benefits go thru without a glitch. It's not that I don't want to work. Believe me, I'd rather make 3-4 times as much as I may get thru unemployment, but we're going to have to move from current location to find anything. And of course, this takes time. So, this makes a perfect opportunity to pound out a few novels and short stories before I need to find that lucrative, permanent job. If only I could focus more; complete a few stories. At the very least I'd like to finish one novel and begin an agent query within two months from now.

I intend to to book reviews, eventually. Hopefully sooner than later.

So, here goes nuttin'.

Encyclopedia of Life

The new Encylopedia of Life site is now up as of this last Thursday. Haven't had much time to check it out yet, but so far it boasts about 30,000 species, with one page devolted to each specie. They expect to have another 1.7 million within a decade. In my opinion,however, our known species will probably near at least 2 million. So many invertabrates that have yet to be discovered.

It's maintained by an international group of scientists and was spearheaded by E.O. Wilson.

Electronic Motion Captured on Video

Yep, that's right. From Science Daily: Using short pulses from an intense laser source, scientists from Lund University Faculty of Engineering in Sweden have been able to capture an electron's motion to video for the first time. Currently, I don't have much of a background in modern physics so I'll spare you from any attempt on my part of an explanation.

Johan Mauritsson of Lund University claims that this technology can be used to corroboration of various theories. He also says, "What we are doing is pure basic research. If there happen to be future applications, they will have to be seen as a bonus."

The entire length of the video represents a single oscillation of the light. Of course, the video has been slowed so that we can observe the effects.

Dissension

I recently traveled to a mountain state for a short term contract in my field. They put me up in a shitty dorm room with communal toilets and shower. The room was horrid and reeked of pipe tobacco smoke. I arrived on a Sunday, and shortly after I arrived for work on Monday began vomiting. I don't know whether it was the "water" in the room's decrepid sink, the smell of pipe tabacco smoke, or simply a 24 hour stomach virus. I left my first day sick and went to a covenient store to buy some bottled water and pepto bismo tablets. While the lady was trying to dispel the static electricity making the plastic bags stick together, I immediately had to place my hand over my mouth. It was not good. I vomited again outside the door to the station, and 3 more times next to my car.

I was supposed to work Monday thru Thursday 10 hour shifts. I was there 2 hours on monday before i had to leave. I offered to just "delete" monday, and start Tuesday thru Friday to make up for Monday. That was agreed upon. I worked two full 10 hour shifts on Tuesday and Thursday, and 1.5 hours on Thursday, before I was called by my company, saying that "I have some unfortunate news, they don't want you there. This is not the appropriate place to talk, so you need to leave "Now" and pack up your things from the dorms".

I drove 20 hours to get there last Friday (Feb 15) and had to leave "immediately" to go back home. Not to mention, I was expecting a full paycheck, because I have checks out to pay for bills, etc.

I turns out that the manager of the institution I was at said there were personality conflicts.
What! She wasn't even there on Tuesday! How the hell could she possibly know? As far as I know, I was getting along well with everyone. Sure, one guy was of the opinion that "liberals" were all bad, and I being liberal on most political and social issues made my case that "we" are not all bad. He's a right-wing conspiracy nut. Good lord, if only he knew. Anyway, we actually had a decent, civil conversation. We even talked about "God". He mentioned how many religions were similar. I concurred and also told him of a bumper sticker I had seen on a website; the one that says: "God is too big to fit inside any one religion" and how I thought it was appropriate.
Well, the manager walked by at the same time. I'm sure she heard it.

The next day is when I got the call from my agency instructing me to leave. See, they had a regular employee that was to start in the middle of March. According to the schedule, she was starting 2 weeks prior to that.

Is it possible that the new employee got there sooner and they wanted to start her ASAP? Why pay an agency contractor if they can make up an excuse for lack of performance, or not learning fast enough, so that they can get out of said contract?

I believe that either that is the case or I am being discriminated upon based on political and religious beliefs.

Now my company may not reimburse me for all the traveling that I've done. I will find out for sure next week when a "review board" meets.

That is just not fair! Now my bank account will have a negative balance because by the time those checks go through I will not have enough in my account. I had to take enough out for the gas home and a hotel room for a night.

I was so enraged and hurt. I'm surprised I even made it home in one piece. I screamed at the top of my lungs while driving, "Why is this happening to me?". I had a funny feeling something like this would happen. It had the eery familiarness as did the Georgia assignment.

I had a dream a couple of months ago while at the Georgia assignment that my account rep called and told me that they could not help me any longer.

It was this account manager (not even the one that was I had been dealing with about the new assignment) that called me and told me I had to get out. He will most likely be the one that will call me with the "boards" decision. I have a feeling that regardless of what I write in my email statement, that this is the way it will go.

You see, VALIS, or something like it is indeed this world's operator, and unfortunately, I am mixed with it somehow. Just like Philip Dick, we were/are thrown in the middle of all this. I just don't know whether we found VALIS or VALIS found us.

I don't know what to do now. I am jobless. My SO freaks out over these issues. She if physically and emotionally and mentally aggressive. If she would give me 6 months to a year to write and publish my first novel, I KNOW that I could make enough to earn a living. Not a great living, but at least enough to help rear my child and continue to do what I know it is that I am supposed to be doing. Writing. At least in part of what I am to do.

Why? Why does it have to be so hard?

To any agents and editors: if you feel VALIS is tugging at you and your are indeed moved to hear what I may have to say; I have several fiction projects in the works. I could have one of them finished very soon. A little interest shown, can move a universe.

Sorry for the Rant.

I found Phil

I had the privilege of visiting PKD's and Jane's resting place yesterday. I was traveling I-80 to Wyoming and detoured just a bit to Fort Morgan, Colorado. While at the cemetary it took anywhere from 1 - 2 hours of riding and walking around to finally locate them. But, I did. It was disheartening not to see any flowers or other items. On the other hand, there was a little bit of ice in front of the headstone with a space about an inch wide across the stone where the ice had melted. Within that space I found 3 pens, and a tiny plastic sheep. I ran back to my car and found one of my writing pens to add to the collection.

I was questioning Phil in my own insane way, and requested that if he was capable, to show, or help me show, that there is at least some validity to what I am have been trying to explain to her.

Around that same time the wind really picked up speed (although it fairly windy already) and the industrial sugar plant across the road made some kind of unique roar.

Back home my SO is a very compassionate nurse at a nursing home. She's a fairly skeptical person in most regards. However, for the past year and a half she's worked at this most recent job she has admitted to me of seeing dark shadows and on very few occasions, a sort of bright whitish apparition.

[My daughter went with her to work last night (it was only a four hour shift and no school the next day)] When they pulled in the drive-way there was a barn owl next to the house. That was definately a first and it happened a few hours after I requested for him to show her

I could interpret this as a synchronous event, but unlikely as this combination of events were, I still think I could chalk this one up to coincidence.

All in all, it was nice to see them.

On That Tingling Feeling

Back in 2001 and 2002 on rare occasion when I would look at a particularly attractive woman, I would sometimes get an electrical "tingling" sensation in my head, and feel lightheaded and dizzy momentarily. It only happened a few times, and during that time a thought would cross my mind that that woman was to mother my child. I really didn't believe it whole-heartedly but thought of the possibility. I never acted on such an impulsive thought. Imagine how embarassing that could be. On the other hand, perhaps she would be flattered. And I could have played the mental illness card.

At the time, both I and my psychiatrist thought I may have been suffering from schizophrenia. Those particular instances would have been tactile hallucinations with "magical thinking" or delusions.

Naturally, when I discovered the "PKD Connection" (and because of the nature of the synchronicities and associated phenomena I definately believe exists) I thought perhaps I "was" PKD, just in a parallel world or simulated reality and the women with which I had the "magical thinking" were actually my previous wives or girlfriends.

No, I now do not believe I am PKD in a parallel world or simulated reality, however, I still can not deny the experiences I have had (discounting the aforementioned "magical thinking").

Mapping the Brain

Wired has a great article concerning a group of researchers from Harvard who are trying to create a circuit diagram of the brain, now with mice, but ultimately our own. This looks at far more detail than conventional brain scan techniques. They are intending to get the anatomy down to the synaptic level (all the connections between the actual nerve cells). This new field of study or technique is known as "connectomics".

"It is to neuroscience what genomics is to genetics. Where genetics looks at individual genes or groups of genes, genomics looks at the entire genetic complement of an organism. Connectomics makes a similar jump in scale and ambition, from studying individual cells to studying swaths of the brain containing millions of cells."

"A map of the mind's circuitry would allow researchers to see the wiring problems that might underpin disorders like autism and schizophrenia."

""The 'wiring diagram' of the brain could help us understand how the brain computes, how it wires itself up during development and rewires itself in adulthood," said Sebastian Seung, a computational-neuroscience professor at MIT"



"Michael Huerta, associate director of the National Institute of Mental Health for scientific technology research, said that connectomics will fill a key gap in our understanding of the brain.
"You could conceivably know every chemical and every molecule of every cell in the brain, but unless you understand how those cells are connected to each other, you have no idea how information is being processed," Huerta said. "The connectome, in my opinion, is really what it's all about""


In addition to the fundamental science and reward of knowledge, and the potential to really understand mental illness and brain disorders, this is a common devise for science fiction.
Mind uploading, or even manipulating minds with nano-implants seem feasible, and even probable.

Coming Soon: VALIS to be seen by the masses

ABC's LOST features thought provoking literary novels as props either being read by a character from LOST or in his/her library. Rumor has it that Philip K Dicks VALIS will be featured in episode 4 of this 4th season. Since I am a definate LOST FAN I am overly delighted. I think Phil would feel the same way. I found this link nearly simultaneously through David Gill's Totaldickhead and just a few minutes later at a LOST fansite. I didn't follow the link to David's source until after I had read David's source myself. So, even though I would have eventually found it myself, thanks, David, for being on top of things.