Monday, May 14, 2007

description of television anomaly

That was not the only time in which I remember something from, and those were not the only books remembered. "UBIK", "Dr. Bloodmoney", "Eye in the Sky" are the three prominent books I recollect. In "UBIK", it seems I remember all of the psychics and their introductions, especially. In the "Eye" I remember the bevtron accident, and the individuals trying to help them, and especially the part where they are on the balloon and then it falls. Also the end where the two main characters invent the machine, and decide to work together.

In "Dr. Bloodmoney" it is more like what do I “not” remember. Everything about Stuart McConkey and Hoppy Harrington is familiar, especially the part where Hoppy is trying to repair the electronic equipment and he ends up using psychic abilities to do it. That in particular, was perhaps one of the most familiar of all to me. Except that scene seems to take me back to my experience with the radio in '88, maybe even a few other parts. Actually, some of it seems to come from '88 and some seems to come from the other time I am about to describe.

It was the summer of 1986, and I had been sent to my biological father's home for part of the summer. It was my first time on a plane, but I found it very pleasurable. I was introduced to my dad's new wife and two of her sons and her one daughter. My dad's wife's name was Michelle, her daughter was Amber and her two sons were Jon and Dennis. Jon lived with his father and I did not see too much of. Dennis, also called "tigger" or "tig" lived with my dad and his mom. He was about 4 years older than I was. We became friends instantly. He was like the big brother I always wanted but never had. He taught me a little bit about the old Commador computer he had and took me often to his friend’s house and taught me to dive even.

We did a lot of things that summer and had lots of fun, but the one thing that stands out the most is the experience I had while alone one night. Dad and Vickie were out somewhere, I forget where. Dennis was at work at some fast food joint.

I was at home by myself watching television in a recliner. I decided to change the channel, so with the remote in hand while I was sitting on the recliner I began changing the channels. After one click, all of a sudden, I say my own self in the television doing what I was doing right at that moment. I stood up. The me in the television stood up, too. I changed the channels rapidly. Oh My God, I thought, what the hell is this? What's going on I cried out in my mind. It was like there was a camera behind me some where and I was being monitored and broadcast on every channel on the television. I quickly looked around, ran to the exit door and dashed outside. At least outside I wasn't alone. There were other people. It did not matter that I did not know them. But they were alive, real. I was severely freaked out.

This couldn't be happening. I don't know how much time I spent outside before I finally came back in. Everything else is a haze.

I remember wondering if Amber and or anybody else may have been playing a practical joke on me. I really did try to think about it logically. Albeit, I could come up with nothing. It remains an enigma. Although, I am fairly certain no one was playing a practical joke on me, and it is what it is, a mystical experience. I don't think it is schizophrenia, because most schizophrenic hallucinations are rather fragmented, not fully experienced sounds and sights for the brain to interpret. Also, they are usually derogatory in nature. Not ever neutral. Those two instances were the only "hallucinations" I have ever had, or at least, that I recollect. It could also be hypnogonic in nature (that point where you are almost asleep but not quite, and the days experiences and other memories flood your mind, and play out in nonsensical ways). I don't think that was the case, either. I'm familiar with hypnogonic associations and they were nothing like the "visions". I'm therefor inclined to think that they are indeed real. But, like everything else Dickian, I may still be obscured from reality.

1 comment:

MDK said...

Dear friends,

Due to the fact that I'm shaking the dust from my memoir in progress it's time for me to come to terms and come clean with something that has been burdening me for quite some time.

There is a second version, and most importantly, a more accurate (I believe to be so) version of what transpired the night of the Television Anomaly.

What I experienced at the core hasn't changed. And I'm unsure whether or not there is any more or any less mystical or other significant relevance between the two.

So, in this second version as I am watching television I then see myself in the television sitting in the arm chair. As if the me in the TV was watching me in his TV from his own reality. A mirror-like reflection.

I see a mirror reflection of myself. I'm still at an angle to the television, and everything else is the same as earlier written. Startled, I stand up and change the channel. My heart pounds in my chest and I feel my face flush as I witness myself changing the channels, only to see myself in front of the chair, changing channels. Like I wrote in the first post, I bolt out of the apartment.

For some reason, this seems to be the version that really happened and the one I wanted to tell from the beginning. Memory is so fickle. Research has shown that as time passes our memories become more vague. The memories often vary each time we summon that particular memory or set(s) of memories, and can even morph into completely different mental experiences.

So there are two important differences in the versions

1. The first is of my head at a semi profile as whereas the second I see my face head-on but at a slight profiled angle.

2. In the first version I see myself within the "TV ad infinitum", In the second version there is no "TV within the TV"

There are at least two primary options for me to conclude at this point.

1 - The first version is true
2 - The second version is true

However, there are other options such as perhaps both are true to a degree.

This can be partially explained by lets say that the second version is true: It was a mirror-like reflection. Now lets say that at that exact moment, I had an OBE or an Out of Body Experience. And the position I'm in at that point (the OBE me) is behind the chair at an angle looking at the physical me at the chair.

This would explain the first inconsistency of the position in which I saw myself viewing the TV me, but not the TV within the TV's. I'm beginning to wonder if this was perhaps an embellishment on my part post Philip K Dick influence.

How could PKD have influenced this memory?

PKD often wrote about spurious realities and more important to this particular situation, multi-level realities. Realities within realities, ad infinitum possibly.