Monday, May 7, 2007

University - Part 1

So I began college at SOME University in August of 1993. I was just about to turn twenty at that time. I was two years late in the making. My god, I thought it was so horrible. I felt old even though it was my first semester. In my mind, I was still upset at having not began in August of 91 like I had originally planned. Now, in retrospect, I think, "Man, what was I thinking, I was still a pup". There are folks now in their thirties, forties and even fifties beginning college for the first time. However, two years into a major depression and most devastatingly the feelings and thoughts associated with depersonalization and derealization; it seemed like an eternity had passed.

That same month of August I applied for and was accepted a position in at the then new Walmart supercenter. I would remain there part time until summer of 96, working various departments. I started out as a cashier, but then transferred to layaway, domestics, automotive and finally the shoe department.

Things were going okay at the university. My major was premed in which my chosen major was biology with a minor in chemistry. I thought about many different careers along the way, some of which were: geology, chemistry, physics, and geography. However, because I was premed I had to take a certain required amount of biology and chemistry courses. We had to also choose an area of interest in biology, so I chose zoology because in this area were most of my premed courses.

I lived on campus for a couple of months of my very first semester. However, campus life didn't really suit me because it seemed I worked all the time. One of the shoe associates at walmart, Derek, lived in a three bedroom (although there could actually be four renting) house close to the river. One of their roomies was about to move out and they needed someone else to come in. So I was invited, and I happily took it.

The summer of 95, I had decided to move to California and spend some time with my biological father. I already had a job lined up in the automotive department at the walmart in Ceres, which is essentially a suburb of Modesto (where I was born). [the California locations are factual]
That lasted all but two months, I believe. So I transferred back to walmart in Capeston, and even managed to get a room again in the house with Derek. This would now be the early summer of 96. During this time I had some problems with my heart "skipping beats". So much, that I even went to the emergency room because of it.

Concerning the Depression and depersonalization, I seemed to have a hold on it. It never truly goes away. You just have to set your mind on practical matters. And going to school was one of them. I was able to actually set goals.

Another, most important reason for my being able to withstand the mental illness was being with Tabitha. I moved in with Tabitha and her mother in the summer of 96, until I got kicked out by her landlord, because my ol' clunker was broken down in the dirt driveway. They even sent the police. So not wanting to cause trouble, I found a place at the East Side Park Apartments in Capeston. I had asked Tabitha if she wanted to move in with me, and we would try to find jobs this summer and I would go back to school in August.

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