Saturday, March 18, 2017

My Potential Patrons

Come support me at Patreon

https://www.patreon.com/sf_writer_mdk







I'd like to introduce you to my Patreon account. As some of you know, I've felt the Universe pulling at my writers brain. Okay, so actually it's shoving me off my feet.

Historically, it's been that its shoved me straight on my ass; Alas, I get up and recompose myself every time. Sometimes it takes longer than other times.

I do know that writing and story is central to my life. If there's anything, almost nothing brings me the satisfaction and catharsis of making up extraordinary worlds with characters caught up in the most uncanny situations.


First, a disclaimer:
I'm in recovery mode from a recent autistic burnout situation. Comorbid depression, OCD and related conditions combined with the issues some high functioning autistics deal with can be a recipe for disaster. My entire life has been a series of ups and downs, the downs crashing down fast and hard as the downfall of a roller coaster... and I'm ready to direct that momementum into my fiction and memoir. -end of disclaimer

Having said that, those of you aware of my "mind" connection with Phillip K Dick will agree that writing is my dharma; my duty. It's not just that. I really do enjoy writing. And the writing will be good. Let the well of untapped potential be tapped...

This Patreon account and my generous patrons will hold me to some accountability. I pledge to be continuously coming up with original content for you to pursue and showing you what goes into creating my content. The writing is the primary focus, though I intend to work on drawings/sketchings, poetry, and even (a)muse you with my untamed guitar skills. Who knows, once I've learned Python, perhaps I'll code a small program just for you.

You can donate on a monthly basis for as little as $1.00 and as much as you wish. The more my generous patrons donate, the more time and focus I can place into my writing. The funds will cover both costs of living and necessary items, etc. for my content creation.

Anything you feel is worth beginning a donation would be greatly appreciated. I truly feel this is a medium that can really help me launch my writing career. Major kudos to all current and future patrons. Thank you so much!

Friday, November 25, 2016

Be All that You Can Be

It's in my nature to find heroic archetypes in science fiction (especially TV Shows) easy to emulate. Perhaps the heroes (even the unlikeable ones and spectrum of antiheroes) in the writers' imaginations are far superior and closer to what I conceive of when I think "heroic" to any I've ever personally experienced and very few I've heard of.

That being said, having a presupposition to the imaginative does not invalidate any of my real-life anomalous experiences...

Possible Moral of the Story...


"Be the Hero you need to be..."

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Happy Thanksgiving

I'm thankful that most of you won't experience severe mental illness; it's nasty. 


I'm extremely thankful hardly any of you have experienced anything like the other shit going on in my life. I wouldn't wish this shit on my most feared enemy. 


But when people in power are poised to prey on the vulnerabilities and temporary handicaps of the "little people" or "little person" who actually have so much more power than the "powers that be", why then I'm thankful that they've not driven me irrevocably insane. I'm still here. I'm still a thorn in their side, but am ready to turn into saber to decapitate them at their sources and their unjust programs within their organizations shall fall beneath my blade and my will...

Monday, July 4, 2016

Official Pause

I'm currently unwell and am not sure when/if I'll resume posting. Please feel free to follow me on Facebook...

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Desperado

How many more times and in what ways must the Universe show me my way? Alter my course? Should I keep denying the inevitable? Let go? Give in? Surrender? Fight? A call to arms? A treaty, a truce?

How many possible worlds are there? How many realities? As long as there is still a possibility that all this could still be a coincidence, a play on statistics, I must remain skeptical. Until I feel... I know intuitively, then I'll keep searching, wandering, wondering...

About 10 weeks ago I was traveling to Missouri after having spent about two weeks in and around Taos, New Mexico. I had almost secured a roommate situation in Taos. Something for which I went to Taos from Pennsylvania with the intention of doing.

Despite feeling very much at home, there was much uncertainty and ambiguity about my being there at that particular time. I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. Therefor I set out from New Mexico to Missouri where I had planned to spend a little time with family while looking for my own place nearby. At least while I recoup.  

I was brokenhearted leaving New Mexico. I really wanted it to work. Living on such a beautiful and spiritual land and being around so many others of like mind was something I felt I needed at that juncture. If circumstances were different it would have been ideal. However great it seemed beginning again, even in such a wondrous place, seemed more stressful than I had imagined.

Living in Missouri would allow me to be with family in the general area I grew up. An area I was familiar with. My Missouri family and I aren't the closest but even that is a small price when one needs rest and a little support, even if it's unspoken.  It was also closer to Pennsylvania where my daughter currently resides. It's ironic that I can't be near the one I love more than any other. She's in her senior year of high school. She and her mother come to visit in Missouri a few times a year, which will provide me more visiting opportunities.  Pennsylvania has too many negative memories for me. It seems I am not meant to live there under my current circumstance, if any.

Being on the road, living in a car, even though exciting as it can sometimes be, can also a lonely venture. I felt I needed somewhere to stay for a while, to work on what it is I feel I'm here to do. My purpose. And part of that purpose is to write. So it was the frame of mind of regret, confusion, and reluctance in which I set out leaving the Land of Enchantment on the afternoon of August 16.

The drive to Missouri wasn't nearly exciting as the drive to New Mexico. I felt as if I was retreating, tail between my legs. Perhaps all I was meant to do was to get in touch with the land again. I did begin hearing the Hum again, after a two or three month absence. I am currently hearing it (very potently, I should say). I'll say more about that in a subsequent post. 

Was it really surprising that the Universe should send me another message? I was about 30 miles east of Tulsa, Oklahoma about 1:15 in the morning when the phenomenon occurred. About an hour before that I had been listening to 92.9 BOB FM and had use the seek function to tune in another station for a bit. I pushed the seek button again around 1:15 and it immediately tuned to 92.9 BOB FM. I looked at the LED display and to the left of the station information I saw my name "Marvin" in the display. It remained for a second or two although I'm uncertain of the exact duration. The song playing was "The Heart of Rock & Roll" by Huey Lewis & The News. The song must have been halfway through because about a minute later "Desperado" by The Eagles began playing. Curiously, it was "Desperado" that attracted my attention rather than the song playing at the time I saw my name.

Desperado seemed to be my state of mind throughout my entire life. Always searching for what I'm supposed to be doing on my own. Never having anyone to lean on. Perhaps it was time for me to realize that I didn't have to do this on my own. Whatever that means...

A few days after I had reached my destination I phoned the station to inquire about the playlist for that evening. I'm not quick to jump to thoughtless conclusions so some research was in order. I thought perhaps a song by Marvin Gay or any other artist sharing our name could have aired immediately before "The Heart of Rock & Roll". Unfortunately the playlist was unavailable. I believe if there was a radio personality with my name the lady I spoke with at the station would have informed me, especially after I had explained the situation.

If that situation was indeed meant for me, am I on the right path in my interpretation? Is it so baseless? By what mechanism was this message relayed to me? Was it a time manipulation, in that myself and other external events were situated so that I would see that at that particular time? If so, then it would appear not to be a manipulation of events by a conscious entity. How can one differentiate this from coincidence? If this was a manipulation not involving time travel how could this have happened? Who is my hacker? Where are they from? Was this done benevolently or malevolently? What do they want? 

As evident, my experiences often incite more questions than knowledge. I wonder if I should be tackling these mysteries and puzzles by different strategies. 










































Friday, October 10, 2014

A More Accurate Description of the Television Anomaly

Dear friends,

Due to the fact that I'm shaking the dust from my memoir in progress it's time for me to come to terms and come clean with something that has been burdening me for quite some time.

There is a second version, and most importantly, a more accurate (I believe to be so) version of what transpired the night of the Television Anomaly.

Please read Description of Television Anomaly before you read the rest of this post if you haven't done so already.


What I experienced at the core hasn't changed. And I'm unsure whether or not there is any more or any less mystical or other significant relevance between the two.

So, in this second version as I am watching television I then see myself in the television sitting in the arm chair. As if the me in the TV was watching me in his TV from his own reality. A mirror-like reflection.

I see a mirror reflection of myself. I'm still at an angle to the television, and everything else is the same as earlier written. Startled, I stand up and change the channel. My heart pounds in my chest and I feel my face flush as I witness myself changing the channels, only to see myself in front of the chair, changing channels. Like I wrote in the first post, I bolt out of the apartment.

For some reason, this seems to be the version that really happened and the one I wanted to tell from the beginning. Memory is so fickle. Research has shown that as time passes our memories become more vague. The memories often vary each time we summon that particular memory or set(s) of memories, and can even morph into completely different mental experiences.

So there are two important differences in the versions

1. The first is of my head at a semi profile as whereas the second I see my face head-on but at a slight profiled angle.

2. In the first version I see myself within the "TV ad infinitum", In the second version there is no "TV within the TV"



There are at least two primary options for me to conclude at this point.

1 - The first version is true
2 - The second version is true


However, there are other options such as perhaps both are true to a degree.

This can be partially explained by lets say that the second version is true: It was a mirror-like reflection. Now lets say that at that exact moment, I had an OBE or an Out of Body Experience. And the position I'm in at that point (the OBE me) is behind the chair at an angle looking at the physical me at the chair.

This would explain the first inconsistency of the position in which I saw myself viewing the TV me, but not the TV within the TV's. I'm beginning to wonder if this was perhaps an embellishment on my part post Philip K Dick influence.

How could PKD have influenced this memory?

PKD often wrote about spurious realities and more important to this particular situation, multi-level realities. Realities within realities, ad infinitum possibly.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Alienus Tempus the Memoir Reboot

I have decided (once again) to work on my memoir. It is of the same name as the novel, Alienus Tempus.

That being the case, I will not have the first draft of Alienus Tempus the novel by the end of this year. Most of the groundwork for the memoir has been completed for some time, but for a reason that now eludes me I decided to work on the fictionalized version of my life, which would be the novel.

I guess sometimes I think that what has transpired in my life is so unbelievable that people would simply not believe those things to have happened. Therefor, I thought that a "fictional autobiography" (aka... the novel) would be a better medium. And though I do intend to finish the novel one day, for various reasons I cannot publicly disclose as of yet, I am compelled to work on the memoir once again.

I have no definite time frame, though I hope to have if complete and publishable some time in March 2015.

I will be keeping the facebook page for Alienus Tempus the novel active as I definitely intend to finish in the future.

Soon, I will be creating a facebook page for Alienus Tempus the memior. I plan that page to be more active than the novel page was. There will be several multimedia additions and excerpts to the page.
I will post the link when it is available.

I hope to see some of you there...

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

POTUS, Museums, and Falling Stars (or UFO's) Oh My!

I had at least two, possibly more, possibly interconnected dreams concerning what I think may have been DC and the POTUS. 

In what I think was the first dream I was with my daughters mother in what I think may have been DC. We were visiting museums and sometimes separated for individual excursions. What was most remarkable was that later that night I saw several falling stars or meteorites. They were traveling in many different trajectories and angles. Some seemed to be even "falling up" at various angles. There were no known meteor showers at the time.  I'm unclear if they really were meteorites or just could be classified as UFO's. 



The other dream that I remember involved the POTUS (President of the US). Some of the details are obscure, and I'm not sure I ever dreamt of the actual president of the United States. I'm not even sure who he or she was. The technology involved seemed to be current or slightly advanced. The situation was possibly a training exercise, although it may have been more nefarious. I'm uncertain at the moment...








Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Clarion Write-a-Thon

I just joined the the Clarion annual Write-a-Thon. It begins Sunday, June 22 and runs for 6 weeks. It coincides with the actual physical Clarion Writer's Workshop for Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers.

There are about 18 who actually are chosen from an application pool. When I'm published (eventually, I promise) I will be eligible for the actual workshop held at UC San Diego.

Please click on my profile and browse the site to see what it's all about. Then consider donating to the Clarion Writer's Workshop (through my profile) so that future students will be able to attend the workshop in San Diego. The fundraising goals will help those future workshoppers and will allow me to be eligible for certain gifts as well. If I raise $250 I get a critique from a Clarion graduate. I'm setting my goal at $100. If $20 is donated from my profile I can become part of a team of other Write-a-Thonners.


I have recently pledged to finish a first draft of my novel, Alienus Tempus, by the end of this year. If I can make my writing goal of 10,500 words, it'll be a great boost to accomplish that goal.

Hope you check out my profile and at least cheer me on through facebook. Thanks!


Clarion Write-a-Thon profile page: MDK's Profile


Alienus Tempus Facebook page: Alienus Tempus on Facebook


Thursday, April 10, 2014

The Bet... And Just Whose Memory is it Anyway?

One of the few "vague memories" I have is of a time before my time. I suppose I could have been alive as I am now at the time, however I would have been not much older than a toddler. This is one of the few vague memories I seem to have had as Philip Dick. Obviously, they can't be my memories as I am. It must have been one of the times where I feel that somehow Phil and I co-habitated the same physical space, body in this instance. His body.

It seems I recall a time when Phil was talking to one or a few of his friends and he made a bet that he would survive physical death. I want to say that it was with fellow writers with whom he had shared this with. I have no idea what the stakes were. I just feel as if he made that "I'll be back" proclamation. 

For what it's worth, Phil won. Because somehow, he and I are the same... And, in that regard, he did survive physical death. It's difficult to explain. I don't expect many people to believe me, let alone understand me. 

If you've ever watched The Matrix, and I suspect many of you have, it is similar to a scene where I believe Neo or Mr. Smith is explaining how it was when Neo joined with Mr. Smith at the end of the first movie. To paraphrase... "It's like a part of him was grafted onto a part of me". As in "one"...

I've been wanting to write this post for a long time, but as you can imagine, I was hesitant. How in the world could I make such a grand proclamation without any evidence. If you didn't think me crazy before, surely you do now.  I was planning on some long, thoughtful post, but that time is not now. I do need to let it be known now.  I suppose, based on what I HAVE been through and faith, some may think it possible. I believe there is more that I could remember if I were to be examined and if I were to examine. I don't expect any grand homecoming or sweeping congratulations, etc. But, what's done is done, and I will find some way to prove it. 

Thursday, January 23, 2014

We'll Find a Place in Time

It's been quite some time since I've felt any kind of "special" connection with any shows, such as the previously mentioned movies and tv shows such as Alias, Battlestar Galactica, ect. It's been roughly four years since any such intuitions manifested. Over the previous 2-3 weeks I've been watching "The 4400" which involves 4400 abductees who were taken from various times in the previous century into the future. They were sent back to the early 21st century with special abilities in an effort to guide humanity in a more positive direction to avoid eventual catastrophe.

I began watching it the first time when it first came out. I believe I got through the first couple of seasons of four total. However, I'm almost certain that I didn't finish the series. But the closer to the ending I get, the more familiar it seems I am with the series. This could be something as simple as a simple error in judgement and memory on my part. However, I'm just feeling a little strange throughout this ordeal. It seems like I may have dreamed some of the scenes in the series before I had watched them. Of course, my dreams are fairly vivid and often comprise of science fiction and action/adventure/spy intrigue sort of scenarios. I wish my imagination were nearly as good as my dream world.

At the moment I've decided to go through a period of sleep deprivation in an attempt to induce vivid and creative hypnogonic type thoughts. I am now near the 41st hour of sleeplessness. So far, I am actually feeling quite lucid and together. To note: I began having these feelings and intuitions long before I began the sleeplessness cycle. Once I am well rested I'll try not to wait so long to give a more detailed summary of my thoughts on this matter.

Monday, December 23, 2013

A New Mind of Old?

The/my writing that I seem to remember from the mid 1980's was very much like the pulp science fiction of the mid century. In some fantastical way it was that very same pulp fiction (at least if I am factually accurate in my co-creation of PKD's works, but alas, we will probably never know). It will always be an instinctual thing, a gut feeling. A divine knowledge. The writing seems to me equivalent to the mind of a teenager, one somewhat in tune with the times. My mind. Almost immature to be sure. Like a child's active imagination. If I did indeed find some way (insert myriad methods here) to help Phil create those stories then what is the equivalent today? The stories I am creating and will create are to be fashioned after what likeness? All I can do is to try to sell them in today's market, this present world, because I have no idea if/when some remnants of these stories will be ferried off to a distant universe or the past or wherever or whenever they are destined to go. Are they to be literary in nature? There really is no decent paying market for pulp fiction anymore. Anyway, I have evolved since my time as a teenager. Not always for the better, but evolved nevertheless. I am both more sophisticated and more tortured. I'm not sure I'm up to the task of literary writing. I'm more of an ideas person, as you can imagine. And I feel my ideas and execution must be perfect. It's this kind of rut and obsession in my thinking that keep me from being productive. I just don't know what to expect of myself. Perhaps it is someone else's turn to mystically help me. Universe... Pay if forward.

No answer...

As I thought...

I am my own and on my own I will.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

A Course Correction

A course correction... is it longstanding this time? Is it merely my way of not committing to a timeline? A goal finally reached?

Once again, I am shifting direction and will begin working on my autobiographical science fiction novel. It will most likely be the same name or one similar to that of the memoir I've been working on, Alienus Tempus. 

Sometimes I feel that I really do need to get my story out, in all it's unbelievable details and facts, and my interpretation of those events. However, I'm just not sure it's the appropriate time.  My Heart and Will is continuously drawn to the fiction. I have many different projects I've worked on over the last 11 years. My mind keeps wandering to the playground of the imagined. It's where I can be most creative and concerning the autobiographical novel, I can fictionalize my experiences and if/when it gets to the public then they can interpret it as they wish. It is this way in which I can also cloak the truth of my experiences, or at least my truth. It is also the way in which I can endlessly pontificate and play with those scenarios and possibilities without having to say "This is it!". Will I ever reach a penultimate truth? Not sure... not sure that it is even possible. In fact, I'm not sure if I even want it to be possible. So now that you know my MO, be aware that it could change at any time. 

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Where's the Hum?

I've yet to update on the two dreams (one of which I had forgotten about) involving President Obama. But that will come soon.

Of note, however, is the fact that I haven't felt or heard "the Hum" in nearly 7 or 8 weeks. I am currently staying at the Salvation Army in Modesto (most likely not for much longer). It's a building that used to be a nut factory/warehouse (oh, the irony). It's a very large rectangular body, of the kind in which I would most usually able hear the hum. It's rather disturbing to me. I feel as if something may be wrong, or that I am on the wrong path. I'm in the veteran's homeless program and I can stay here up to two years, however, there are more cons than pros for me staying here. Not to mention that they take 30% of my income. I'm very restricted and it's decreasing the feeling of freedom that I had felt before coming here. Yeah, living in my car has it's disadvantages, but being trapped in my efficiency apartment in Pennsylvania (even though I had no restrictions) and then feeling trapped here has reaffirmed that I need to be mobile once again. I was hanging out in Santa Cruz before a severe toothache and infection brought me to the SA shelter. A relative of mine volunteers here (he himself having gone through the civilian program) and he told my mom who in turn told me about the program. This place is beginning to suck my soul just as Pennsylvania did.

I'm not saying it's a bad program, it's just not for me. The fact that I am unable to perceive the Hum is definitely a concern of mine. It may be nothing, but I'd still like to know what will happen when I leave.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Am I Excluded from The Human Touch?

Here I am, using my Blogger iPhone app to make a post. Haha! And it takes the heartbreak of a woman to get me to post. Despite the most recent dream involving the President Obama and the presidency in general (about 3 weeks ago) I post because alas, I am lonely. 

I have important things to do (potentially of the most important kind) and yet I'm paralyzed of moving on because I'm just looking for a little bit of that human touch as Bruce Springsteen so delicately touches us with. 

I'd like a relationship but sometimes I just want to play, with as many women as possible. But so many near misses. What is going wrong? Universe? Do you want my help? Tit for Tat!!! I'm going to start calling you on it. The Universe entity I'm referring to is in the guise of many. Separate Universes. The Universe, gods and goddesses, ET's, governments, our own US government. Come on... You have intelligence and spies. Dress someone up and send her my way. Let's have a play date, shall we? Keep me occupied for a while. Then perhaps I can do what I need to do. Even I need to see my wild oats ;-)


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

To Whom can I Request Asylum?

If there were such an agency, terrestrial or not, would I even want to? Hell, I can't even be sure the agency(s) to which I would apply to aren't the ones actually interfering with my well being.

However, that being said, I wonder if the intelligence leaker Snowden will be granted asylum by Russia? I don't know enough about the situation to say much, other than I wonder if they would grant me asylum? Perhaps they could get their psychic program afloat again. Haha! Maybe, they are the ones interfering with me and not my own US government. And if not my own government, then who the hell am I seeking asylum from?

Perhaps the world governments should be a little more concerned with all that I have revealed in my short time. There is much, much more. The sooner the better for the planet, humans included. I know certain factions are monitoring my ramblings, and you should really contact me in an official capacity. I really do want to help.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Where am I Going? Where have I Been?

I'm about to visit the Land of some very special People.I feel like I'm supposed to. One of the many suppose to's. I attempted this nearly four years ago and thought about it again two and a half years ago. I couldn't go through with it. It's not that I didn't want to, but I was afraid to. Would my life change once I went. Would my Destiny Manifest, or would it be all for naught? Perhaps neither. Just another step along the Path. Albeit a very, very important one. I'm not sure how they will receive me, if they will receive me. Will they know me? Do I know me? Will they remind me? Perhaps I don't want to know who I am, or was, and it's that reluctance that repels me from a Most Honorable People. Perhaps it will be for me and me alone.

Places shouldn't matter. I am Everywhere, and I am Nowhere. It's the Human Spirit and their respect for their Home that makes the Land Sacred.

Don't be led astray. Incorporate, but don't be enveloped. Stand Fast!

PJP

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Free at Last

Despite being homeless in a state far away from where I previously had a home, I couldn't feel more free than I do at the moment. Living sequestered in that apartment in Pennsylvania was destroying my heart and soul. I was almost literally trapped in my apartment. I am camping on Federal lands inexpensively (cheaper than rent). I'll be in the Taos,  New Mexico area for quite some time and have even submitted my resume for a position in the lab at one of a nearby hospital. In a way, I'm not sure if I want to stop camping, living in car, whatever. I feel so free and unbound, and I can carry on with my work (writing, learning, teaching, playing, etc.). I am tempted by the stability of a full time job, in addition to being able to date with money in my pocket. A part of me screams, NO! It's not time yet. My "camping" journey has just begun and Taos is but one of many brief respites along the way. Not sure what I will do but I know I am truly living in the moment as much as I can.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Searching for Fragments of My Consciousness

I'm in the beginning stages of undergoing a new journey. Although I'll be mobile, it's one of a deep, personal - dare I say, Transcendent nature.

I'm not sure how long this will last. Our journeys last a lifetime, though there are mini quests to experience along the way. Sometimes they are detours, but all are still part of The Individual Path.

Logistically, my resources are limited. However, I'm at the point where that will not stop me. I'm prepared to even be homeless (in fact, that's probably meant to be part of the path).

I won't stop until I've found what I'm looking for.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Sacrifice

Sometimes... the many sacrifices seem too much to bear. Then, I look all around time and I realize this is me. It has to be done.

There may be no silver light at the end of the tunnel. No respite, even while here.

I suppose that's why it's called Sacrifice.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Interference

Interference - It's what you do, and you know the you of whom I am referring to

I am telling you that is needs to cease soon, for you will not have to find me... I will find you


Phoenix Janus Pax

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Babylon 5 ate my NaNoWriMo

The first week of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) is coming to a close and I've barely written 1300 words of the 50,000 that I need.

Blame it on Babylon 5

I've been watching the shows for about 3-4 weeks now and am near the finish line. Like all good stories, this too, must come to an end (at least for now).

Something quite unexpected but not totally surprising has occurred whilst watching B5. I had yet another uncanny experience of being "aware" of a few aspects of the show. The show first aired on TV in 1994, and lasted for 5 seasons. I'm sure I've been aware of its status (or that it existed) before, but I don't believe I've ever watched an episode. However, I began having "awareness issues" concerning Ambassador Kosh, from Vorlon, not long after I was first made "currently" aware by watching the series in "real-time" (i.e. 3-4 weeks ago). It just seems that everything about him/it was familiar in a far distant kind of way. I did not experience deja vu nor do I believe I have watched this series before (certainly not enough to be experiencing this level of awareness).

The only other long instant of awareness had occurred during the situation with the Babylon 5 Security Chief Michael Garibaldi, particularly the who situation when he disappears, is taken aboard a Shadow ship, and is ultimately mind-fucked by the Psi-Corps. The Psi-Corps manipulated him ever so slightly but still enough to make him (Garibaldi) think he was in control of his own will, but in fact was not fully. 

Vorlons (beings of light), Garibaldi (not himself)... I can't imagine what these things have in common with me ;-)

That being said... I may dig into it at some point in the future. It's not like I don't have enough to think about already. But, that's the thing, one would think with OCD and ADD, I would have enough to think about.

The Universe can be a Sick Joke...


Oh well... Back to NaNoWriMo


Expect a form of Analysis in future stories (hopefully sold stories).



Monday, October 1, 2012

A Hum Conundrum

I'm back... at least for a bit.

After several months of not hearing or feeling "the hum", I have felt/heard it over the past few weeks. Not consistently, just here and there.

I "water fasted" last week for the first time. My goal was to make it 48 hours and I succeeded. I'll go into that in more depth on another post. I'm currently fasting again. I began at 7:10 pm on Saturday 9/29/2012. I hope to go at least 72 hours this time.

I slept most of Sunday, waking up occasionally. Sometime around 7 pm I heard and felt that pulsating frequency I refer to as "the hum". I heard it again around 5 hours later. Having slept all day Sunday, I am now awake and hopefully will stay awake.

I live in a large house/building with several apartments, therefor I can not guarantee that the hum is not being emitted from some device in one of those apartments. I'm sure it's nothing in mine. There is no one living upstairs.

During this fast, I hope to meditate more and reflect on everything that's happened. If it is truly "the hum", perhaps I'll experience it more as I try to get "in tune" with our home.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Frank Bertrand writings about PKD on Scribd

Frank Bertrand has been a Philip Dick fan since probably before I was born. In the 70's and 80's he conducted several interviews with Phil, and has written extensively about him since Phil's death.

I read a few of his articles when I first had the "PKD connection" on 6-23-2002. I'll be rereading those articles and even more for the first time.

His writings can be found here at Scribd

I've got a lot of rereading to do so I can complete this memoir. I'm looking forward to it.

Thank you, Frank, for all the time and hard work you have put in for the PKD community.

Monday, November 7, 2011

My Memoir Kickstarter Project Launched

I've officially launched my Kickstarter project today. Kickstarter is a fundraising site for creative projects. In this model, one launches a project and sets a deadline to meet their funding goal (1-60 days). If the funding is not met then the project will not be funded. It is an all-or-nothing situation.  Rewards (usually in the form of the finished product, e.g. books, CD's, DVD's, ect.  The more you donate, the better the rewards. Also rewarding, is knowing that you will help someone fulfill one of their dreams, that they may not have been able to do otherwise.

My memoir, called Alienus Tempus, concerns how I manage mental illness and common and not-so common philosophical inquiries while trying to explain mysterious and remarkable events that concern the late science fiction writer, Philip K Dick.

If you happen to read this post, please take a look at my project even if you decide not to donate. That's okay... just so you know that one day this memoir will be available to everyone at no cost.  I want to get this story out. It's my dharma.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Waiting on Rights

I have a short story that follows closely my situation with PKD. It's a very condensed version, but it needs to be told before I can continue with any other work. This is the thorn in my foot that needs to be removed. I'm now waiting on The Estate (of PKD) to decide whether or not I can publish a portion of text from Phil's Exegesis Essa:

"The Ultra Hidden (Cryptic) Doctrine: The Secret Meaning of the Great System of Theosophany of the World, Openly Revealed for the First Time (March 2, 1980)"

The story won't work without it, so if I have to paraphrase it, I will do so. Let's hope for an optimal outcome.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

New Blog Series by Charles Q. Choi from Scientific American

I discovered this new blog series from a post at Mindhacks

The very first post is here where Charles Choi describes the purpose of his new blog series. It is a blog about discussing with scientists questions that may science may be impossible to answer. Sounds like a winner!