Free at Last

Despite being homeless in a state far away from where I previously had a home, I couldn't feel more free than I do at the moment. Living sequestered in that apartment in Pennsylvania was destroying my heart and soul. I was almost literally trapped in my apartment. I am camping on Federal lands inexpensively (cheaper than rent). I'll be in the Taos,  New Mexico area for quite some time and have even submitted my resume for a position in the lab at one of a nearby hospital. In a way, I'm not sure if I want to stop camping, living in car, whatever. I feel so free and unbound, and I can carry on with my work (writing, learning, teaching, playing, etc.). I am tempted by the stability of a full time job, in addition to being able to date with money in my pocket. A part of me screams, NO! It's not time yet. My "camping" journey has just begun and Taos is but one of many brief respites along the way. Not sure what I will do but I know I am truly living in the moment as much as I can.

Why does the Fucking Universe hate me?

Why, if I'm supposed to do this whatever fucking thing I'm supposed to be doing, am I experiencing opposition in just about every fucking endeavor I participate in. We got moved, the SO and my daughter are staying with a dear friend and I have my own apartment just a few houses down. That is Ok. My daughter is really enjoying school. That is Great! I had an opportunity for a part time job in which I would have made near as much as I made full time at my previous tech job. But, with the shit that happened in both that place and the travel job I've mentioned elsewhere, it makes me look a tad undesirable. Those situations were forced on me and I was most definantly wronged. My previous manager before the last job tried to coerce me to not leave, and as such told the travel company that I was not rehirable. I'm sure that is what they said to the potential employer in which I interviewed last week and have not heard from since. I don't know if it's their fault, or if this is just the way fucking VALIS is working. Well, I don't fucking like it. VALIS, watch it, I may soon take myself out of this little fucking game of yours. But alas, it's probably my game, too. VALIS, you motherfucker, I still have bills to pay!