Saturday, February 23, 2008


I recently traveled to a mountain state for a short term contract in my field. They put me up in a shitty dorm room with communal toilets and shower. The room was horrid and reeked of pipe tobacco smoke. I arrived on a Sunday, and shortly after I arrived for work on Monday began vomiting. I don't know whether it was the "water" in the room's decrepid sink, the smell of pipe tabacco smoke, or simply a 24 hour stomach virus. I left my first day sick and went to a covenient store to buy some bottled water and pepto bismo tablets. While the lady was trying to dispel the static electricity making the plastic bags stick together, I immediately had to place my hand over my mouth. It was not good. I vomited again outside the door to the station, and 3 more times next to my car.

I was supposed to work Monday thru Thursday 10 hour shifts. I was there 2 hours on monday before i had to leave. I offered to just "delete" monday, and start Tuesday thru Friday to make up for Monday. That was agreed upon. I worked two full 10 hour shifts on Tuesday and Thursday, and 1.5 hours on Thursday, before I was called by my company, saying that "I have some unfortunate news, they don't want you there. This is not the appropriate place to talk, so you need to leave "Now" and pack up your things from the dorms".

I drove 20 hours to get there last Friday (Feb 15) and had to leave "immediately" to go back home. Not to mention, I was expecting a full paycheck, because I have checks out to pay for bills, etc.

I turns out that the manager of the institution I was at said there were personality conflicts.
What! She wasn't even there on Tuesday! How the hell could she possibly know? As far as I know, I was getting along well with everyone. Sure, one guy was of the opinion that "liberals" were all bad, and I being liberal on most political and social issues made my case that "we" are not all bad. He's a right-wing conspiracy nut. Good lord, if only he knew. Anyway, we actually had a decent, civil conversation. We even talked about "God". He mentioned how many religions were similar. I concurred and also told him of a bumper sticker I had seen on a website; the one that says: "God is too big to fit inside any one religion" and how I thought it was appropriate.
Well, the manager walked by at the same time. I'm sure she heard it.

The next day is when I got the call from my agency instructing me to leave. See, they had a regular employee that was to start in the middle of March. According to the schedule, she was starting 2 weeks prior to that.

Is it possible that the new employee got there sooner and they wanted to start her ASAP? Why pay an agency contractor if they can make up an excuse for lack of performance, or not learning fast enough, so that they can get out of said contract?

I believe that either that is the case or I am being discriminated upon based on political and religious beliefs.

Now my company may not reimburse me for all the traveling that I've done. I will find out for sure next week when a "review board" meets.

That is just not fair! Now my bank account will have a negative balance because by the time those checks go through I will not have enough in my account. I had to take enough out for the gas home and a hotel room for a night.

I was so enraged and hurt. I'm surprised I even made it home in one piece. I screamed at the top of my lungs while driving, "Why is this happening to me?". I had a funny feeling something like this would happen. It had the eery familiarness as did the Georgia assignment.

I had a dream a couple of months ago while at the Georgia assignment that my account rep called and told me that they could not help me any longer.

It was this account manager (not even the one that was I had been dealing with about the new assignment) that called me and told me I had to get out. He will most likely be the one that will call me with the "boards" decision. I have a feeling that regardless of what I write in my email statement, that this is the way it will go.

You see, VALIS, or something like it is indeed this world's operator, and unfortunately, I am mixed with it somehow. Just like Philip Dick, we were/are thrown in the middle of all this. I just don't know whether we found VALIS or VALIS found us.

I don't know what to do now. I am jobless. My SO freaks out over these issues. She if physically and emotionally and mentally aggressive. If she would give me 6 months to a year to write and publish my first novel, I KNOW that I could make enough to earn a living. Not a great living, but at least enough to help rear my child and continue to do what I know it is that I am supposed to be doing. Writing. At least in part of what I am to do.

Why? Why does it have to be so hard?

To any agents and editors: if you feel VALIS is tugging at you and your are indeed moved to hear what I may have to say; I have several fiction projects in the works. I could have one of them finished very soon. A little interest shown, can move a universe.

Sorry for the Rant.

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