Just another Day

One of the many things of which I am disappointed with myself is the fact that it is very possible that my beautiful daughter will graduate high school before I have published anything. There are worse things, I know. Since the calling (7 years ago) I have written very little. A couple of short stories, one novella, and the beginnings of what I believe will be a break-out novel, but alas, I procrastinate. I also feel burdened and tortured by what I've experienced and what I think I know. I've been on short-term disability for depression, OCD (I get 60% of my normal pay) for about 5 weeks now, am barely making it financially (I may even have to move to a less expensive apartment). So yeah, I have the time, but it is not very constructive, while I worry about all the non-sensible things that happened in my life, and the everyday battles that are akin to every other persons problems.

It's like I'm afraid to write, although I know I do it well. I feel time is slipping away from me. The more I wait, the harder it is to start. Damn it!!!!

Ahhh! Sorry.

Just another day.

Fear of No Return

I'm afraid of writing
Of getting started

Will I collapse under obligation
of something meaningful to say?

Or is it I'm afraid when the muse strikes
I'll be transferred and transmigrated,

Transmutated, transubstantiated,translated
To lands, peoples and ideas far away?

Amazon prime

I bought two more books from Amazon two days ago, and using their free trial of the Amazon Prime service, I got them today with no shipping costs. I'm seriously considering keeping the service. It applies to all items Amazon has in stock. Currently, the costs for annual membership is 79 US dollars. One can also get their in-stock Amazon items overnight for only $3.99 and two day shipping is always free.

The books I bought were: Feeling Unreal: Depersonalization Disorder and the Loss of the Self (the first definitive book on depersonalization disorder) by Daphne Simeon and Jeffrey Abugel and Fear of Writing: For Writers & Closet Writers by Milli Thornton.

I've read a little about the Fear of Writing book and am hopeful that I can get over all my hang-ups, and get "tips to type" (fingertips to type).

I will posts summaries on both books when I can.