Waking in two places at once

I had an interesting experience Sunday Morning as I lay in bed resonating in and out of sleep.
I would wake up to reality (while laying on belly) and open my eyes, see whatever was really there, and then as soon as I closed my eyes I would see another scene. This scene was a still picture scene (not a moving dream). It's like I was waking up to a different location (in space and/or time). Then I would open my eyes, see what was really in my room, then I would close my eyes and it's like I was seeing a new scene plastered to the inside of my eyelids. Very surreal.

911, Presidents and Dreams, Oh My!

First, I'm still alive. The machine has not taken me down yet.

Today is the 8th year to the day that many lives were taken and the towers fell in NYC. So I will take various moments through out the day in remembrance of them and all the frailties of human nature.

Now this may come as no surprise but the past month I have had a few notable deja vu experiences, which I will summarize sometime in the near future. Of course, there were a few events timed "suspiciously".

I had a dream just last night that I was in Baltimore, MD and trying to get to Washington DC. That's about all I will say for now until memory serves me. It's "suspicious" in the fact that just this morning (after my dream, or at least I think) that there was a potential problem with President Obama's safety. Apparently the US Coast Guard was conducting exercises in the Potomac River near the Memorial Bridge where President Obama's motorcade just happened to be passing. Perhaps not at the exact same time, but close enough to lend credence to my dream (at least for me). Interesting.

Interesting!!!

Life on Mars

This first half of 2009 promises to be (at least to me) a good season for ABC. Of course, it all started with Lost, my favorite show ever. No less compelling in a slightly different setting is Life on Mars, which just arrived at ABC Fall 2008.

So much of both of these shows parallels my own life. I could devise my own exigesis line by line which would explain how all these influences came to be. That is a work that will never end, at least not with my life. Perhaps it can be analyzed later, most probably in the "Annals of Clinical Psychiatry & Interdimensional Travel". Well, maybe just a current clinical psychiatry journal. Heh! Heh!









The picture above is a scene from I believe the first or second episode. It involves the protagonist, Sam Tyler, and Anne Norris. She is not only the coffee server and paper shuffler, but she is actually a psychologist by education and is quite capable of performing in that capacity. She councils Sam and helps sort through some of the "theories" he throws around his head.

Hum... Just about summons up many of my own theories. I have personally considered everyone of these myself.

The TV is N My Head the Cylon Said

A friend of mine has loaned me the full set of Battlestar Galactica episodes. All the hooplah about the Cylons having "souls" as much as the Humans do merits much thought as today in "our" world, many humans believe that other life forms that are not human do not possess a soul. Scientifically speaking of course, there is no evidence of a soul, anyhow. Instead the nearest topic that could be applied would be that of "senescence" - the ability of an organism to be aware of itself as an independent entity and aware of it's thoughts as being localized to itself. Not a textbook definition, but accurate nonetheless.

My purpose here is not to say whether one is right or wrong in believing either which way, but to merely report of memories that I have of both dreams and thoughts about life as an entity other than human.

When I was around the ages of 3-6 I had dreams and daydreams of seeing beings that resembled old cathode ray tube televisions complete with the rabbit ear antennas. There legs were like tripod leg stands. And I'm not quite sure, but there may have been a humanoid face in the screen. Yeah, I know it's a major feature not to be sure of, but nevertheless, the idea remains the same.

It all goes back to the old question - what does it really mean to be human. And, are there other entities than human that are truly capable of the emotions? If we do happen to meet any silicon based life form, how will we treat them?

Is it necessarily logical that humans were the ones that created the machines. What if the silicon based life form were able to naturally evolve into the same type of intelligence who could then create carbon based life forms and they could create a more "rudimentary" form of silicon based life in which if the developed would turn in the highly sophisticated "Cylons" of Battlestar Galactica.

OK, the Ambien is beginning to kick in and I had better stop now, before I write something that I won't be able to explain.

Kudos to Battlestar Galactica --- Great Frakin' show

Contact me here next year. If I'm not here, site will not be updated and well, you know the rest.

I'm copying what I wrote down yesterday morning from a dream I had on Thursday, July 3 sometime between 0711 and 0930.

Not sure what to make of this.

I went to a physician in some ER and he (mild/moderate build, slight tan, wavy brown hair) said I had some kind of internal organ disease. He said I only had a few days to a few weeks to live. He said my heart would just stop (after I had asked him how it would happen) (reminds me of the situation when we had to euthanise our cat, Sophie).

Then I remembered being at some kind of cook out (picnic or BQ) with a number of relatives and a few of went inside a house and began looking at a TV screen that showed sections of my brain (we could use a controller to navigate around the sections. Then my 2nd cousin (can't remember which of 2 cousins it was) said they had experience looking at this, so he took the controller.

While we were doing this, I began to think about my supposed arranged fate (living to 63, writing, etc.) and thought that this couldn't be right. So, I starting thinking about the ER physician and his "diagnosis". He didn't order any X-rays, scans, MRI's, etc. to support his diagnosis.

We went to see him at the hospital and he says it's possible that it could be incorrect. He also said that I should have had the scans done before I went to the ER.


*** I believe I had this dream because I've less than 2 months unemployment insurance remaining. So, I have had almost 4 months of time when I could and should have been writing every single day. But, I falter. I procrastinate, trying to put off the inevitable. Makes one wonder whether I really want to write, after all. I've thought about this often. The answer is I definitely do. Not only that, but I believe that is possible that I am supposed to physically die when I am 63. I am now 34, and if I am supposed to create this corpus of work then I really need to get with the plan. See, PKD was born on 1928 and died in 1982. In keeping with the tradition I have come to the conclusion that I, too, will die in 2037, while I lived was born in 1973. So, if I am published at least this year or next, I believe I stay on the train for a while longer, although my book will be closed on 2037. And if I don't begin soon, if I don't do what it is that I am supposed to do, then perhaps my time in this realm is near over. It's not that I'm afraid to die, it's that 1) I love my daughter and want to be with her, to see her grow and have a beautiful life and 2) I still do really believe that there is something that I am supposed to do, and a large part of that is writing.

Do Sentients dream of electric cigars?

I had another PKD dream just about three or four nightes ago. I haven't written it down anywhere but here. I should have when I first encountered the memory of it. All I know is that we both be enjoying some mighty fine cigars. But of course, we talked, it seemed like hours. And now I can't remember a damned thing of it. He looked to be about 43-48 years old in that particular dream.

Don't worry Phil, I'm coming for ya buddy. I sense you. My homeoplasmate kin. We will figure this thing out. I'm trying to write, but am lacking in some inspiration and time. Gotta' work, Phil.


"coincidences cease at the bequest of mutliple synchronicities"

This employment opportunity has given me more that enough time to write. I just need to sit down and do it. And it shall be done.

The day after 6-23-02

The day after (Monday night and Tuesday early morning), I decided to see how much I could learn about Philip K. Dick. Certainly, I thought, it was nothing. I'm just imaging this. I was frightened, yet excited still. I had to get to the bottom of this. How was I to know, that I was about to shine light down a bottomless hole. It was sort of like what Morpheus said to Neo, "How far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?"

I went to the Google internet search site and put in 'Philip K. Dick'. One by one, I started browsing the sites that the search engine brought up. I found a few essays, biographies, etc. When I read a detailed biography of this science fiction writer, my jaw nearly dropped to the floor. My god, how many other writers have had experiences like this, science fiction writers at that. It's like he was really a part of his work. Or crazy, as some may have thought. Perhaps the first thing that got my attention was the year of his birth and death. He was born in 1928 and died in 1982. The 28 and 82 are reciprocal of each other. This, from all that I have read, was a typical phildickian thing to behold. To me, it stood out as a stark signal, a beacon in the night.

Not only that, I had learned through my searches that a few others have had seemingly synchronous events. Special timing. Some have even had dreams. What was really pronounced, was that I learned his middle initial stood for Kindred, which means 'related to' via Webster's dictionary. How fascinating. Especially for me, since it seemed like someone or something, whether it be the ghost or spirit or mind of Phil, or perhaps something artificial was wanting me to delve into the life of this science fiction writer.


My hand aching from tirelessly moving and clicking the mouse, I did not give up. There was more to see, so much more. I happened on a site called "philipkdick.com", a fan site spearheaded by Jason Koornick. Upon entering the website, the home page was simply a blue background with a retouched color photo of Philip K. Dick as a young man. It was a picture taken when married to Ann in Marin County, California. He was probably in his early thirties when the picture was taken. He was sporting a pair of dark sunglasses. The wind tussled his hair over his right temple. He was wearing a dark button tee shirt. His face was slim but thick with a wide goatee.

From my distance I was shocked to realize how similar Phil looked to my own father, when he was about that age or a little younger. In fact, if one were to superimpose a picture of my biological father and myself, I believe it would look nearly identical to Phil's picture. I went about the house searching for any old pictures I might have had of my father to compare. I used to have his marine yearbook when he graduated boot camp. However, I could not find it.

"Humph", I said aloud. The screen saver should have come on by now. Interesting. I tried to move the mouse around click on something to forward on to other pages. It was to no avail. It was like I was meant to sit there and take notice of that picture of Phil. Interesting indeed. With everything that had happened, I was sure that this was another synchronous event.

After restarting the computer (and the point had been made) I got back on the philipkdick.com fansite and began snooping around. An essay there, an interview here, a book cover or two else where. The site was chalk full of interesting literature and art. I got to a spoof page that mentioned a sponsor named Ubik. By then, I had known that Ubik was the title of one of is novels.

It was a spoof add, showing a person spraying a can of ubik onto items and they would turn back to their original state, entropy free. An outline of a large can of Ubik was situated in the center of the screen. They have modified the web page since then. But the page at that time, brought back such a strong memory of being at my biological father's house in the summer of 1986. Not only that, I had such a profound sense of deja voe, it almost made me sick. I felt somewhat dizzy. I couldn't believe this. How could this be so familiar? It seemed like my world was less mine and something right out of one of Phil's novels. At least from what I read about the man and his stories.

A little bit later, I was on the Time magazine website, and had found a page that talked mostly concerning Tom Cruise and Stephen Spielberg, but also had a short snippet about Phil. I should note that Tom Cruise was the actor playing Jon Anderton (the protagonist) and Steven Spielberg was the director. Also of note is that Steven Spielberg had a cameo appearance in Vanilla Sky.

I finally went to bed around six that morning (Tuesday morning), and had awaken around two or three pm having remembered fragments of a dream. It involved a friendship with Tom Cruise and the voice of one of the pre-cogs. It was soft, melodic, smooth, and refreshing. I could have basked in the wake of her sound waves. It was that pleasing. But I could not remember what she, he, or it had said. Nothing. I could not remember. Damn it!